Rachel Roy's Fashion Week Presentation Totally Eclipsed By Kim Kardashian

I took some time out of my busy week of not really going to fashion week by going to fashion week and checking out Rachel Roy's Spring Summer 2012 presentation on the promenade of Avery Fisher Hall at Lincoln Center. The promenade is basically an outdoor balcony where you can smoke before going inside to try to pretend you know what opera actually means. But this morning it was the neutral-hued backdrop of the human stick figure diorama that was Rachel Roy's presentation. (Just kidding, the models were just "regular-skinny," and they were a far more diversely cast group than some of the other shows I've seen this fashion week.)

Soooo, Rachel Roy's presentation was lovely! Themed "romantic minimalism," the collection was an exercise in hushed louche walking pants, slouchy blazers and the occasional Mandarin collar. Very Charlie Girl meets "The Joy Luck Club" meets for Sunday brunch near Central Park. Oh, and Bobbi Brown pulled off some of the best beauty I've seen since this whole fashion week situation happened. The perfect "I'm-not-wearing-any-makeup" makeup. But that's because she's Bobbi Brown and knows what the eff she's doing.

 + Read more about Rachel Roy's S/S 2012 presentation after the jump!

And then, about three minutes in, the wheels fell off of the entire operation because Kim Kardashian showed up and all hell quietly broke loose. I'm pretty sure everyone forgot there was a presentation taking place... BECAUSE KIM KARDASHIAN WAS THERE! IN THE FLESH! Well... I think she has human flesh. I'm not sure. She was standing RIGHT behind me (get it? BEHIND? Because she's KNOWN FOR HER BUTT!), and I've seen her before at work events, but usually in the dark. This was my first time seeing her in broad daylight. It felt more like an alien spotting than a celebrity spotting. She looks like a buxom fembot. Her eyelashes were about the length of my actual hair, and it's possible that she was sewn into her cinch-waist dress, which looks like it was designed only for standing, not sitting. Barely even for walking. The kind of dress Madonna often wears to remind people she's British now. Oh, and her wedding ring looks heavier than a silver tea service.

The photographers who'd been busy photographing the models and taking a few atmosphere shots completely heel turned, ignoring the collection -- you know, the actual fashion -- to photograph Kim, who may or may not be able to move her face. (Also, she had her hair in a very high bun, and I could see the indentation of her weave in the back. That clue made me lean more toward the "human" than alien side of the Kim Kardashian human v. alien debate.) It wasn't one of those noisy paparazzi swarms -- fashion week is FAR too sophisticated for that, dearies -- but it was more like the softer side of "holy shit." Even the models, trained to pretty much blank-stare out into nothingness, began subtly transmitting rapid eye movements to each other -- morse code for "HOLY SHIT, IT'S FUCKING KIM FUCKING KARDASHIAN!"

I think Kim was with one of her sisters -- the one who always wears pussy bows? -- but IDFK because I really don't keep up with the Kardashians. Too many of them! And I have "more classier" shit to watch, like "Millionaire Matchmaker."

Anyway, Kim Kardashian came, she saw, and it was almost kind of a shame because it seemed like NO ONE paid one second's worth of attention to Rachel Roy collection, which was very mature and worldly. I know that celebs at your show = mad attention (and hey, it's working, because here I am blogging about it), but all I heard on the way out were murmurs like "... was absolutely SQUEEZED into that dress" and "... that much makeup? I'd simply rather die!" (I ACTUALLY HEARD THAT EXACT LINE UTTERED! THAT'S NOT HYPERBOLE OR POETIC LICENSE) instead of, say, how Rachel Roy's black cropped pants are the platonic ideal of flattering pants.

Kim Kardashian and maybe-Kardashian left the Rachel Roy show, did "a walk" outside of Lincoln Center and then disappeared down into the train station at Columbus Circle. JK about that last bit! Kim Kardashian probably has no idea what a train is or what it does!

So, aside from Missoni For Target, that was my fashion week! How was yours?

I'm Truly Not Mad At Rachel McAdams' Wackadoo Marchesa Dress!!!

(Credit: EPA/ DailyMail)

So much cognitive dissonance happening here with Rachel McAdams' Marchesa dress at the Cannes premiere of her new movie, Midnight in Paris. On one hand, it reminds me of the flocked Baroque couch that my grandma gave us when I was little and ended up in the basement. (The couch ended up in the basement. I did not as it smelled like mildew down there.)

On the other hand... it's fucking unapologetically rad. I don't even care that from the side it hung with all of the sartorial aplomb of a Jostens graduation gown. It's totally fussy, completely unsexy, but fully fantastic. You go, Glen Coco!

Al Pacino, Master of Layers

I just think everybody needs to see this, okay? This is some serious fashion news. The kind you need to know!

Al Pacino Arrives at Airport, Wears Completely Normal Number of Jackets. In case you are pressed for time, here is the story in pictures.

The end. You're welcome.

THIS Is How You Wear Orange

Before watching Emmy Rossum on "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon," I had almost no opinion of her, good or bad. My only knowledge of her was fact-based. She was in the "Phantom of the Opera" movie. (Fact!) I once saw her on 45th Street holding hands with Adam Duritz. (Fact!) She's in that new show with William H. Macy. (Fact!)

But after seeing her on Fallon in this amazing J. Mendel outfit, she's now unofficially the queen of orange. Orange is my favorite color, but, as we probably all know, it's a really difficult color to wear, especially if you're fair-skinned (and I am!) But Emmy looks absolutely stunning in head-to-toe, two-orange. I love the warmth her gold earrings bring out and her perfect neutral, muted makeup. Kudos to you, Emmy Rossum! Or, as Ramona Singer would say, "kudoose!"

I can't tell if her shoes are maroon or brown, but they're not, THANK GOODNESS, black, which can be one of those worst colors you could pair with orange, lest you look like a walking celebration of Halloween.

But, orange is big for Spring 2011, so here a few tips for wearing orange:
+ Gold accessories. Stay golden!
+ Wear beige, camel, tan or putty-colored shoes. I LOVE the combination of orange and beige heels.
+ If you can pull it off, complement orange with  sky blue or rusty brown accents. Or even a sweet lavender.

(Credit: Redcarpet-fashionawards.com)

Oh, and watch Emmy Rossum on Fallon. She's adorable AND a cat person! YAY!

L.A.M.B. Tweed Harem Pants = Oof.

Surely tweed button-up harem pants would look amazing on Gwen Stefani... And that's it.

($275, L.A.M.B., Shopbop)

Love Gwen, love L.A.M.B., but tweed and harem pants are a classic example of "never the two shall meet." And also "just because you can doesn't mean you should."

I think Ruscha said it best when he said ...

Word.

Please Lourdes, Don't Ever Stop Being This Rad.

OH LORDY, Lourdes. Pleae don't EVER stop dressing so perfectly. I'm literally more than twice her age, and I don't even care that my style role model is a tween.

Also, apparently Madonna makes Lourdes give her designer swag to charity. That's the way it should be. Ugh. Adorbs. ADORBS, the Lourdes!

Lourdes is in an AllSaints "Touchdown" skull tank. The rest you can probably work out on your own -- black skinny jeans, black boots, slouchy plaid button-down. Obvz. And PS: If you haven't been to the brand-new AllSaints in Soho yet, get on it. It's like a turn-of-the-century machine shop usurped an abandoned motorcycle warehouse. And Alexander Wang, Rick Owens, and Rei Kawakubo were somehow involved. Oh yeah, and while they haven't made QUITE as much noise as Topshop, AllSaints made $1 million more in their first two weeks of operation than Topshop did. Crazy, right? Not that it's a competition or anything.

Milla Jovovich Continues To Win At Being Beautiful

Milla Jovovich, seen here at the Schumacher show at Berlin Fashion Week, continues to own being beautiful. I need to unlock the secret to having the kinda wet-look bun that falls halfway between tousled and "done." Oh wait. The secret is having a beauty team. Sigh.

I hereby dedicate DJ Khaled's screamo-Tuned "All I Do Is Win (Remix)" (also my current theme song/ motto) to Milla's perpetual win.

Two Random Web Videos: Courtney Love Discuss Her Style, And An Adorable Girl With UNBELIEVABLE Self-Esteem

Okay, I'm going a little off topic for a minute. I almost never talk about my "real life" or day job or anything, because that's not why you come here. (And this isn't LiveJournal.) But I thought I'd share this video interview I did with Courtney Love at my day job. First of all, would 1994 "Doll Parts"/ smeared lipstick you EVER have imagined that 2010 Courtney Love would've been rolling out in a denim button-down, white tee, skinny jeans and sensible black flats 16 years later? Anyway, when I was growing up in the 1990s, Courtney Love (and Tanya Donelly and Liz Phair) HUGELY influenced the way I dressed -- black tights, Docs, babydoll skirts, ratty old-man flannels and crappy sweaters. (Unfortunately, Blossom was also my style icon at the time, so I actually DID own a black fisherman's hat with two ENORMOUS flowers on the front. Wearing a sticker that said ASSHOLE would've been just as effective.) I also had some off-brand Jnco skater jeans that were not at all Courtney's fault. I have only myself to blame for those. Anyway, not to toot my own horn, but the interview turned out quite well, mainly because Courtney's funny and an open book. So, here's Courtney Love talking about her style evolution, her "kook," how her slipdress beginnings weren't a conscious style choice, the choice to dress in a more "elegant, adult way," and her hardcore obsession with Etsy. (This was a two-part interview -- you can watch the first part here.)

Courtney Love - MTV Shows

Next/ randomly, PLEASE check out this AMAZING little girl who is absolutely BURSTING with enthusiasm. I need to be operating in this mode every morning before I brush my teeth.

Why Aren't I Wearing: These Two-Tone Fergie 'Amplify' Heels

I will full-on admit that I like Fergie. Well, I have a soft spot for her. She fully embraces her trannydom, she's always workin' on her fitness, she can do a cartwheel and sing at the same time, she once peed her pants in public and was like 'whatevs,' and her hair is usually fun.

Therefore, I'm NOT at all ashamed to be having thoughts about Fergie's "Amplify" heels. They're bold and transrageous, just like their namesake.

($59.99, Fergie, Piperlime.com)

($250, Current Elliott, Net-a-porter.com)

I'd wear them with these Current Elliott medium wash skinny jeans (if I owned them).

All I Want For Christmas Is This Marchesa Dress

But there's no way that this black and gold Marchesa work of art -- referred to more commonly as a "dress" -- will ever be mine because

a.) I don't even celebrate Christmas...

b.) Even when it was marked down from $4,830 to $1,449, that's still a no-go, and

Meanwhile,

c.) I was tardy to the party and it's sold out. Because it's from waaaay back in 2008, if you can even remember that far back to when your favorite fashion plate and mine, Miley Cyrus, wore it to the 2008 American Music Awards.

I guess I'll "let" Miley have this one... and pray she holds a big-ass garage sale or something. I'm not proud.