I Pledge Allegiance To Anthropologie's Shoe Selection

Stand up and salute Anthropologie's current shoe selection. I mean, please. Really.

$430, Chie Mahara, Anthropologie.com

These Chie Mahara bolted peep-toe booties are the Aladdin Sane of peep-toe booties and will obsessively consume my thoughts like p0rn0graphy. Not that I obsess over p0rn. I really don't. Just shoes. But no judgements if you're into p0rn. You do you. You've got flesh, I've got footwear.

$378, Judari, Anthropologie.com

Am I aware that these Judari floral wedge sneakers a more of a clusterfuck than Times Square? Well, yeah, but I like a farrago where personal style is concerned. The busier the better.

$438, Bettye Muller, Anthropologie.com

These are just BEGGING to be worn with a red silk blouse and black skinny jeans. Mama, I'm comin' home!

$158, Farylrobin, Anthropologie.com

These mint floral jute flatforms (AHHH! AGAIN! SO MANY THINGS AT ONCE!) are SO Alice In Wonderland goes to a suburban rave in 1994. So, in other words, they're everything I need in a shoe.

Cleo B's Cassette Tape Heels? WERQUE!

$574, Cleo B, Ruianyc.com

New rule. No more ordinary heels. From now on, I'm ONLY WALKING ON A GOLDEN CASSETTE TAPES by British shoe designer Cleo B. Bonus points if they play my favorite '80s song, "Let The Music Play," by Shannon. TWERQUE. IT. OUT.

RuPaul GIFs via Logo

Yeardley Smith, The Voice Of Lisa Simpson Has A Really Cute Shoe Collection Called Marchez Vous

Weird, right? But I've heard weirder (as a Jew who went to college in the mountains of Virginia, TUHRUST me, I've heard and seen weirder). 

So, Yeardley Smith, the voice of Lisa Simpson, has her own collection of shoes called Marchez Vous. I recently checked out the collection at a private preview where I met Yeardley, and you guys, she's your long-lost BFF (who also... happens to be one of the most recognizable voices on the Earth's surface). This woman is an absolute fucking firecracker, and is obviously living her best life because she took her love of shoes and turned it into a job, and keeps a coterie of EXTREMELY good-looking men at her ready at all times. (One's her trainer, and this dude in the photo is like... a Clark Kent-ish sort who she chills with because he's really attractive and because she can. Because she's smart.) Oh, and she loves cats. Great, right? Again, trust me when I tell you that Yeardley is uproariously funny, and I want to go on a wine-tasting trip with her and do karaoke with her, and talk about shoes and dudes and cats. Also, her entire lifestyle (hat tip to Beauty Blogging Junkie, from whom I co-opted the gratuitous use of the term "lifestyle") merits a reality show. Andy Cohen, if you're watching, I would watch this woman every week, so please get on that kthx.

Anyway, check out Marchez Vous -- they're decidedly sophisticated with subtly quirky details -- rich colors, lace cut-outs, flared heels, scalloped suede uppers, the unexpected use of BURLAP! -- and each style has its own name, personality and cheeky story, most of which imply casual wine consumption (in my mind). The brand feels geared toward women in their 30s and up who want a stylish shoe but realize that no reasonable human being can wear a needle heel for eight hours without having a silent nervous breakdown. Which is a roundabout way of saying that they're designed for comfort -- hidden platforms, generous padding, but zero orthopedic vibes. It's the rare collection that offers styles for a cute chick in her 20s plus picks that her mom could pull off without the horrifying "mom-shoe" look. 


Check out a few of my favorite pairs of Marchez Vous -- the Giselle is my favorite. Stay tuned for the Spring 2012 collection's polka dots and laser-cut Mary Janes with wood platforms.  And follow Marchez Vous on Twitter and retweet this tweet for a chance to win a free pair.

$395, Marchez Vous, Zappos

Giselle, Spring 2012

Disclosure: I attended a press preview and was gifted a pair of shoes. You probably don't care, but I'm obligated to tell you, and I'm too pretty for prison.

Aldo's Bakker Fringe Platform Sneakers Are My Best Shoe Purchase Of Q2 (Plus: Sponsored Video)

(Note: This blog contains a sponsored video! Click it, or don't! I'm low-pressure over here!)

I hate to play favorites when it comes to shoes -- I love all of my children equally. But, really, every parent has a secret favorite, and Aldo's Bakker wedge platform sneakers are my own little golden child. Don't tell your sister though, okay? (This is SO "Prince Of Tides" dysfunctional! Also, any time I can make a "Prince Of Tides" reference when writing about fashion deserves a hair flip, don't you think?)

I know it's basically summer, but I recently bought these in brown, and I've worn the ish out of them. And they kinda feel like Isabael Marant wedge sneakers, but they're essentially what you'd pay in tax on a pair of those bad boys. And black boots are a year-round staple. (But then again, I don't wear flip-flops, and I generally consider shorts a crime against nature, so what do I know about seasonal dressing?)

($60, Aldo)

Furthermore, you have to admit that Aldo's Spring/Summer 2012 campaign, shot by Terry Richardson, featuring Anais Pouloit, is cheerfully "Teenage Dream"/ Betty & Veronica kitschy-cute with the heart sunglasses and the Popsicle. Matchy-matchy lipstick and Popsicles totally work, IMO. And, if you can pull off an all-white bathing suit, then God bless.

Stuart Weitzman Does Platform Oxfords, Needle Heels For Fall/ Winter 2012

Stuart Weitzman is genetically incapable of disappointing me, but the man truly truly outdid himself with his Fall/ Winter 2012 collection. Here's what I fell in love with at the preview, and I'll save the best for first:

LOOK at this purple-to-teal gradiating iridescent, crystal-heeled carpet stunner. It's the human-sized manifestation of every Barbie shoe I ever wished were real.

Needle heel. NEEDLE, people. Lethal.

I know it's technically a platform wedge Chukka, but I'd like to think this brilliant Stuart Weitzman creation is a creeper on 'roids.

The oblong gold hardware on these pumps? Major major. Very pragmatic-pilgrim chic.

You won't get this red snakeskin-accented black leather bootie out of your head all week, so best of luck to you. 

Please note, you can see your reflection in this patent leather, mirror-heeled boot. If you're really flexible, you can check your teeth.

I don't believe in "it bags," but I firmly believe that this cool-toned Stuart Weitzman camera bag with a contrasting perforated black mesh strap is it.

WTFH Is Monki And HOW SOON WILL THEY BE OPENING IN OR AT LEAST SHIPPING TO THE STATES?!?

Dudes. What is Monki? Welp, to answer the question you didn't ask (or, if you did, I'll applaud my the combination of my SEO expertise and you for clicking), Monki appears to be the Swedish version of Topshop (maybe with a little Oak/ Opening Ceremony/ Gargyle sentiment thrown in) Monki just opened up a London store, and according to The Independent, Monki operates over 50 stores in eight different countries... EXCEPT FOR AMERICA. Y, THO, people? Also, HOW SOON CAN THEY GET THEIR ASSES DOWN TO LOWER BROADWAY WHERE THEY BELONG? Or even Times Square? **shudder**

I mean, they refer to their customers as "Monki friends," and they sell a GINORMOUS DENIM PONCHO, which I need to own. Remember, girls -- there's no limit to denim. Well... that's not true...

"Oh, I know! So weird! We just both randomly showed up like this!"

€55, Monki

€30, Monk

These floral cut-out wedges? Seriously though, I'm about to set up some kind of shady Romney-esque offshore boomerang account just so I can ship shit over there and back to the US.

 YOU GUYS. THIS IS THE INSIDE OF AN ACTUAL MONKI STORE. HOW AM I NOT THERE RIGHT NOW!?!?!??!

Be & D's Sneaker Pump: Looks Like A Pump, Feels Likes A Sneaker. Literally.

$135, Be&D, Beandd.com

Behold, Be&D Big City sneakers, a collaboration with Brooklyn artist Trong Gia Nguyen, literally look like a pump but feel like a sneaker. To anyone who ever wished heels felt more like sneakers or that their sneakers came with rubber soles, here's the tongue-in-cheek answer to your first world prayers, bitches.

Anna Sui Weirds Up Hush Puppies

I like my coffee au lait, my men EXTREMELY normal and in no need of "fixing" whatsoever, and my shoes weird. So these Anna Sui x Hush Puppies are pretty much perfect.

A canvas Oxford with a striped wedge? WHO DOES THAT? Anna Sui does. Seriously, these make me wanna grab a top hat and cane and sing "Steppin' Out With My Baby."

 

Love a fringy moc for the weekend.

Look for Anna Sui's Hush Puppies collaboration in stores this April.

Seychelles' 'Whisked Off To Paris' Sandals Need To Be Whisked Off To My Closet

$95, Seychelles

Seychelles' "Whisked Off To Paris" block-heeled sandal is so delightfully 1950s-postcard picturesque. I want them to whisk me off to Palm Springs via waterski. And yes to that modernizing double buckle effect. (This is also the ONLY way to pull off Ronald McDonald colors without looking like Ronald McDonald.)

+ Related: BC Footwears' creepers are TIIIIGHT.

Loeffler Randall Spring/ Summer 2012 Preview!

Rejoice, Loeffler Randall fans! And behold retro hues and tribal patterns in ultra-modern shapes (LOVE a curved heel, block heel on a platofand a complex Mary-Jane stiletto sandal.) Because it's February in New York, but it's gotta spring somewhere.

Loeffler Randall's Spring/ Summer 2012 collection launches online ehhh... basically now-ish. 

 

Reiss Has Really Good Stuff On Sale

WTF? Why don't I shop at Reiss more often? (It's a British high street that feels like if French Connection  went to a semester or two of grad school, and I mean that so lovingly because I love French Connection. Oh, and Reiss has a REALLY habit-forming handbag selection.) Being way better about shopping at Reiss and using fewer water bottles. There. Those are my perfectly reasonable resolutions for 2012. And now's a perfect time to start. I mean, LOOK at this excellent embellished dress on SUPER sale:

$288, Reiss

This dress vaaaaaaguely reminds me of that epic Alexander McQueen dress Drew Barrymore wore last year. Like, in a perfectly acceptable watered-down-for-my-affordability way.

The Taryn playsuit is sold out online -- BLAST AND DAMN! -- but it's worth looking for in the store. SO Florence Welch.

$51, Reiss

I've been on a serious sheer blouse binge lately, and Reiss' polka dot sheer blouse is PERFECT, because polka dots are WAY in, and I don't like paying more than $51 for anything, really. I mean, who does?

$120, Reiss

$120, Reiss

My name is Tamar, and I approve of these asymmetrical teal platform heels.

$133, Reiss

The PERFECT pointy toe! THE PERFECT, SOPHISTICATED shade of silver.

$255, Reiss

This little shoulder bag is suede and leather, and those aren't even my favorite things about it; Observe the little metal barbell hardware, and then note that the bag is called "Reiss Brewer." Straight from "The Official Preppy Handbook," 2012 edition.

Creepers Are Creeping Back

$92, BC Footwear

Yes, way. Creepers -- those steadfast stalwarts of the flatform family -- are back. They've crept their way from the '70s, '80s and (un petit peu) '90s into the '00s, and, quite frankly, I see no problem with that. They're so bulky it's almost bonkers, and they're like Oxfords on steroids.

I'm partial to BC Footwear's Creepers. Wear them with a little babydoll dress for a variation on the Kurt-and-Courtney '90s look (everyone will expect you to wear Docs, and you'll throw them for a loop-de-loop). Or, do a menswear look with a pair of rolled-up baggy black pants -- hi, Zara's excellent trousers -- and a simple black and white striped shirt. OR, do yourself a favor and try a fitted, bright silk blouse (I'm sensing mustard, because fluorescent is too overwhelming in this case) and a blazer with a few gold chains and some big bangles for a Duckie-meets-New Jack Swing variation. Man, New Jack knew where it was at with color.

$69.99, J. Crew

$59.90, Zara

See? The one on the far right knew what was up. Those patent work boots were all wrong. All that kept these bros from greatness were four pairs of Creepers. Didn't they almost have it? (BTW, what's the guy on the far right doing these days? Prison time? I'll feel bad if he became a cancer researcher.)



Okay. Do the creep. And don't forget to smile...

Max Kibardin's Denim & Swarovski Crystal-Studded Heels Are $2194... And Probably Worth It

$2194, Max Kibarin, Luisaviaroma.com

I am not in the habit of spending $2194 on a single pair of shoes. But I could start to get into that habit for a pair of Bruno Magli creative director Max Kibardin's denim and Swarovski crystal-studded heels. Any heels that feel like 1980s Madonna reincarnated as footwear is pretty much guaranteed to be something I'd wear. Seriously. As a rule, I like to ask myself "Do these shoes look like 'Desperately Seeking Susan' in the form of a stiletto"? If yes, then I'm wearing them.

And now, please enjoy this highly intriguing, highly nude photo of Kate Moss wearing nothing but a pair of guitar stilettos (they actually work) created by Max Kibardin and Chicks On Speed... and her personality.

Me, when I got out of the shower the other day.

THE RACHEL COMEY SAMPLE SALE COMETH!

The Rachel Comey sample sale is coming! Get ready to kiss your ENTIRE buying-for-others holiday gift budget away, and get ready to wish a VERY merry Christmas to YOURSELF.

Rachel Comey New York sample sale
268 Mulberry Street
St. Patrick's Cathedral Youth Centre Gym
Thursday, Dec. 15, 5 - 9pm
Friday, Dec. 16, 10 am - 6pm
Fall/ winter 2011, up to 60% off