These 3 Pairs Of Sunglasses Need To Find Their Way Onto My Face

So many excellent new sunglasses for summer. Let's begin with these three pairs, which need to report for duty on face immediately. All three, on my face, all at once (which coincidentally sounds like a line from a Terry Richardson deposition -- and if that hasn't happened yet it's just a matter of time). 

$128, Kate Spade, Nordstrom

The relief I'd feel pulling the trigger on these Kate Spade Aviators that I don't need probably far outweighs the guilt I'd feel buying a pair of sunglasses I clearly don't need.

$280, Karen Walker, Shopbop

Ugh. I can't with these cream Karen Walker sunglasses with ARROW DETAILING on the arms. Can you? No! You can't! No one can! It's a problem.

$389, Agent Provocateur 

Agent Provocateur's purple "Poke Me" sunglasses (hee!) are the platonic ideal of old-lady chic. And if you're concerned that $389 is expensive for sunglasses, consider this: they're a buck less than Agent Provocateur's crystal whip! Is that a deal, or is that a deal, nu?

Good News! I Just Impulsively Bought These Current Elliott Stiletto Leopard Print In BLUE!

$120, Current Elliott, Nordstrom.com

Wait. There's a BLUE version of Current Elliott's Stiletto leopard print jeans? And they're on SALE? So, I bought them. To keep my other ones company. And because I'm WORTH IT.

Stuart Weitzman Spring 2012 Preview

I stopped by the Stuart Weitzman spring 2012 preview last week, and, true to the core of most Stuart Weitzman collections, the walls were lined with trendy but never gauche designs; daring heights, and Louboutin/ Jimmy Choo-style stilettos at, well, Stuart Weitzman prices. Aspirational but still basically attainable. (I say that realizing that most of us, certainly myself included, are firmly entrenched within "the 99%.")

But... back to the pretty things. My favorites of the Stuart Weitzman spring 2012 line-up was the super-duper Deco patent part of the collection. If you can think of a more satisfying effect than a cool, after-dinner mint color paired with a metallic, by all means, the comments are open.

Lucite stiletto and plastic t-strap? Yes. Always.

Until spring, shop Stuart Weitzman at Saks or Nordstrom.

Miu Miu's Glitter Ankle Boots Are The Most Important Shoes Ever

Seriously, when was the last time a shoe was as crucial as Miu Miu's glitter ankle booties and criss-cross ankle boots? How can ONE shoe be SO important? They're stunning and stuntin'. Elton John-legit with a sickness. Marc Bolan-bonkers.Yellow glitter AND mint green suede? WHO COMES UP WITH THIS SHIT? Miu Miu, that's who!

Yes, I'm aware that these Miu Mius are becoming as ubiquitous as Lady Gaga or iPads, but I still DGAF.I'm no fashion reverse-snob contrarian. I don't care if every woman in this entire country turned into a redundant army of Miu Miu-shoe-wearing sherpas. I'd slip them on and catch a grenade for them.

Of course, at almost $900, I'm either gonna have to develop kleptomania and a pair of steely balls or just commit to distant admiration.

$890, Miu Miu, Net-a-Porter.com

$890, Miu Miu, Net-a-Porter.com

$890, Miu Miu, Nordstrom

PS: Sorry for going AWOL! I was in LA for the VMAs, where I mainlined Starbucks and didn't leave LA Live for a WHOLE WEEK. Tears!

This Marc By Marc Jacobs Faux Fur Terry Jacket Is THE BUSINESS

($258, Marc By Marc Jacobs, Nordstrom.com)

You know how EVERYONE is doing faux fur outerwear this fall? Faux fur vests, cropped jackets and stuff? Well I'm kinda "meh" about it. Faux fur's kinda like a laser -- you need to handle it VERY carefully or you could really end up doing some serious damage.

HOWEVER, my coworker Lisa came into work the other day wearing this Marc By Marc Jacobs 'Ridge Loopback' French terry jacket with faux-fur trim. I almost tackled her to the ground in a where'd-you-get-that assault. This jacket is now officially my favorite use of faux fur, since it pairs faux fur with a really unexpected asymmetrical pea coat-style jacket in terry, which is even more unexpected and adorable. It even looked cuter on Lisa than it does on this here model. I suspect it'd look extremely cute on me too. #wants

Hessnatur Makes The Only Pants You'll Need This Fall + A Sick Leather Jacket For Just $200

I'm glad we don't, but if we lived in a one-pant Communist nation where we were forced to wear just one pair, I'd happily go with these gorgeous grey pleated wool pants from Hessnatur, which is a German sustainable clothing brand. It's eco-chic, as I like to call apparel that's good for the environment and doesn't look like matted, mangled, gnarled dreads in the form of clothing.

($198, Hessnatur, us.hessnatur.com)

These 100% wool grey trousers are just lovely, and that's thanks to Spanish designer Miguel Adrover, who partnered with Hessnatur, hence that gorgeous sheen, slight taper and smart volume. I love the idea of styling them with a darker charcoal top or just a fitted black shirt and a snug leather jacket, like these:

($199, Old Navy, Oldnavy.com)

Uh, can you believe this sick leather jacket is from OLD NAVY of all places? Diagonal details, wide collar, and zipper details!??! YaRLY!

($856, Graham & Spencer, Nordstrom.com)

Usually I abide by a strict "no brown clothing" rule, but I'd consider breaking that ban for this gorgeous distressed brown leather jacket. Love the texture and the slightly '80s draping.

... Speaking of things that VAGUELY sound like "draping," let's play word association. Draping? Okay. DON DRAPER. Boom. Gratuitous Don Draper photo:

Jon Hamm. My favorite type of ham.

This Helmut Lang "Heathen" Dress Is Basically Ever Album Cover That Came Out So Far This Year

I posted a very polarizing pair of Helmut Lang jean shorts the other day -- and by polarizing, I mean that I'm the only one who liked them. And this weekend, I stopped by Bloomingdales after some "hairapy" (harrr) at Pepper Pastor Salon (more on that to come!), and ended up trying on this Helmut Lang "Heathen" FW2010 jersey dress. The graphic pattern reminds me of how, um, every indie band these days is doing kinda psychedelic, low-fi album art.

($230, Helmut Lang, Nordstrom)

Everything about this dress worked... except for the scoop neck. Too much scoop. Too low cut for us for whom bras are a non option. Though it might work with a really thin jersey camisole. Maybe. (Also, I couldn't find it on the Bloomingdales' site, but I'm pretty sure it cost less in the store? Maybe?)

Anyway, I'm not kidding about the 2010 indie albums. See?

Blitzen Trapper

CEO

Ratatat

Oneohtrix Point Never

Tame Impala

Fantasy Shopping: Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale

I've been shopping like a FIEND lately. Must. stop. shopping. And so today I'm just fantasy shopping, hoping that'll satisfy the urge. Here's what I put in my cart whilst shopping the Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale, where stuff is 40 percent off and seemingly going fast (anyone wanna actually buy it for me?!):


Robert Rodriguez lace overlay skirt, $144.90. So hot!


Leifsdottir "Ink" dress, $169.90.


Alexander Wang leather-trim sweatshirt, $354.


Theory "Kessie - Critique" pants, $139.90.



Eileen Fisher "Earth Conscious" double-wrap belt, $57.90.



Steve Madden "Serious" sandal, $39.90.



Tory Burch "Robbe" top, $129.



Free People two-tone strapless dress, $39.90.



Frye "Mary" sandal, $78.90.

Amount saved: $1075.40! PHEW!