Reason To Start Buying Scratch-Off Tickets: This Alica + Olivia Tan Leather Tulip Skirt

($495, Alice + Olivia, Bloomingdales.com)

Is it sad that I don't think it's sad to consider selling one's own plasma for this Alice + Olivia tan leather tulip skirt? Should I not have admitted to that thought?

Be Your Own Valentine. Turn Your Swag On.

Here is a photo of my Valentine. It's me. Yes, I'm married. But we don't really celebrate Valentine's Day beyond giving each other a card with an animal on it, because Valentine's Day is kinda meh. If you celebrate it and you derive pleasure from it, then God bless. I'm not saying I won't partake of some drugstore chocolate. Because I already have.

For Valentine's Day, I'm posting this photo I took of myself this past July in the dressing room at Bloomingdale's. I was having a really good day. You can't tell in the photo, but my hair looked really good. I'd just interviewed for a job (which I didn't get -- the interview went well, and I went on to have another interview, but it just wasn't meant to be... important life lesson there: things happen when they're supposed to, and jobs you don't get probably weren't the right jobs for you). But I'd busted my ass preparing, and I celebrated with a little excursion to Bloomingdale's, where, for some reason, this Cynthia Steffe dress jumped out at me. An asymmetrical ruched silk party dress the color of the blazing sun was the last thing on my must-buy list. Especially at $286. But I tried it on and the feeling of confidence and like "EFFYEAHCYNTHIASTEFFE" I got was immeasurable by money or exclamation points. I felt bona fide awesome wearing it (and after a few days of deliberation, I went to the downtown Bloomie's and bought it).

I snapped a photo to remind me of that feeling you get when you feel great in something. When you finally calm the voices in your head that say "you still need to lose 10 pounds," "ugh, your stomach's gonna stick out," "the top backs of your arms aren't toned enough," "you weigh more now than you did two years ago." And my favorite bizarre little personal demon: "When you turn your face to the side, that area between your nose and cheek sometimes looks weird in photos." WHATEVER. WHO. CARES. Every day that you get out of bed and walk around on your own two highly functional legs unassisted and live a life relatively unconfined by illness or suffering or an oxygen tank on wheels is a fucking gift that not everyone on this earth was granted. But it's really easy to lose sight of that big picture when you're staring in a mirror squinting at a mild case of bra-induced back fat that really no one but you will ever notice. (Something else I've learned: people are too busy going about their own lives and dealing with their own weird insecurities to notice yours.) Even the most confident women I know (and I consider myself one of them) probably say 10 disparaging things about themselves for every one good thing. And when they do admit one nice thing about themselves, it's almost always apologetic and hesitant. I'm trying to do something about that. I'll go first: I feel like I look as good in this dress as that model. If you think I'm nuts or deluded, then this probably isn't the blog for you.

My point is that everyone deserves a dress, a pair of shoes, a blouse, a jacket, jeans, whatever, that make you feel as good as you deserve to feel. And everyone deserves to be able to confidently say "I LOOK AWESOME" instead of being modest or conservative, without feeling like you're bragging. Turn your swag up to 10. Eleven, even.

I used to roll my eyes when people on TV or in magazines talked about self-love and loving your body. But the older I get, I realize we need to hear those things -- and remind ourselves of them -- even if they sound corny and "you-go-girl"-ish. We should be able to toast ourselves and celebrate feeling and looking good, inside and out.

So, consider this a little love letter to myself. And I hope you put on something awesome, turn your swag on, and write your own Valentine too. You deserve it.

Soulja Boy Tellem - Turn My Swag On

4 SUPER Cute Tops For Under $100

When staring down into the deep, dark unknown that is my crappy Ikea wardrobe that houses the bulk of my closet (you say "walk-in," I say "hastily constructed particle board rectangle with doors!"), I've started to realize that what I'm really lacking is cute, easy-to-wear tops. Being, um, let's say generously curvy in "places," I try to avoid tight tops because they can look hooch-o-rama and kind of tacky. I aim to be neither of those things. So I like a slightly tailored yet comfortably slouchy top. Even better if it's got a banded waist so I don't look like I'm wearing a paper or plastic bag.

Anyway, here are four adorable tops -- I'm big into lace insets, apparently -- that look perfect with jeans and are still casual, don't get me wrong, but they're a half step up from the t-shirt-and-jeans look. And they're all under $100, so that's even more adorable, you know?

4 Adorable Tops I'd Buy In Second Because They're Under $100 

+ Ella Moss "Kaleidoscope" Lace Inset Sweatshirt, $98, Bloomingdales.com
+ Ella Moss "Chastity" Lace Draped Neck Top, $61.42, Bloomingdales.com
+ Dustie Doll Acid Wash Lace Cutout Sweatshirt, $65, Stantonjames.com
+ BB Dakota cropped Lake Superior Top, $48, Fredflare.com

Calvin Klein's Tamar Heels Are Obviously Named

($222.75, Calvin Klein, Bloomingdale's)

These Calvin Klein block heels are named "Tamar"!! Just like me! And they're on sale. I love sales! Aw Calvin. You really shouldn't have.

I Bought It: Miu Miu-Alike French Connection Dandy Voile Dress

French Connection

I've been in the market for some slightly more professional dresses -- I work in online content for MTV, so this is pretty professional in my realm. I don't exactly need a Chanel suit or whatever (though Chanel, if you're reading this and have some kind of blogger suit program, I'd be happy to wear one to work and watch people's WTH faces). Also, I've been scratching a LOT of impulse buy itches lately, and this French Connection dress was one them. I was at Bloomingdale's, and this pretty much leaped up into my arms like a lost puppy looking for a home. It practically licked my face. Annoyingly, I paid $148 for it (very unlike to me to whip out one and a half Benjamins, but again, this poor dress, it needed a home -- also, I don't carry "Benjamins." I don't think I've ever seen a real 100-dollar bill in my life except maybe in mafia movies... I really need richer friends) and then I saw it on French Connection online for half that, but it was sold out, so whatever. It fit perfectly, despite the fact that it was about 128 sizes larger than the three sizes I might normally wear. (Looks like I'm not the only one who finds that French Connection likes to size up.)

Anyway, as much as I love Mad Men-style everything (duh -- I'm in my '30s and live in Brooklyn. It's a given), there's a time and a place to dress like Joan Holloway, and a time and place to be not costumey. So while the pleated, nipped-waist style feels retro, the ruffled sleeves keep this from looking like you're swilling a Manhattan and vying for Don Draper's attention. It's like Mad Men meets Gaga.

Oh, and the print kinda references Miu Miu, no?

($1094, Miu Miu, Mytheresa.com)

Hmm. Maybe I did get a good deal after all.

This Helmut Lang "Heathen" Dress Is Basically Ever Album Cover That Came Out So Far This Year

I posted a very polarizing pair of Helmut Lang jean shorts the other day -- and by polarizing, I mean that I'm the only one who liked them. And this weekend, I stopped by Bloomingdales after some "hairapy" (harrr) at Pepper Pastor Salon (more on that to come!), and ended up trying on this Helmut Lang "Heathen" FW2010 jersey dress. The graphic pattern reminds me of how, um, every indie band these days is doing kinda psychedelic, low-fi album art.

($230, Helmut Lang, Nordstrom)

Everything about this dress worked... except for the scoop neck. Too much scoop. Too low cut for us for whom bras are a non option. Though it might work with a really thin jersey camisole. Maybe. (Also, I couldn't find it on the Bloomingdales' site, but I'm pretty sure it cost less in the store? Maybe?)

Anyway, I'm not kidding about the 2010 indie albums. See?

Blitzen Trapper

CEO

Ratatat

Oneohtrix Point Never

Tame Impala

Skinny Cargo Pant Party

I'm a little late, but: Have you heard about these things? The pants that Bloomingdale's can't keep in stock and have sold 75,000 pairs of? I've definitely seen some ladies in these pants, and I have to say, they look damn good. (Check out the Sea of Shoes chick in them.)


J Brand Houlihans, $230.

But what's a girl who's morally and practically opposed to paying $230 for a pair of trendy pants, no matter how "very flattering" they are, to do?


Shhhh. Victoria's Secret has a similar pair on sale for about a tenth of the price. Skinny cargo pant in stretch twill, $29.99.

Or, if it's just too hot for your skinny ass out there, try a cargo skirt:


Silk cargo skirt, $19.99.