Osborne's Cork Oxfords Are Making Me A Better Person

OMFG, dudes. Getting older officially SUCKS. I've been MIA from FashionBinge for a week because I for REAL haven't been able to SIT because I threw my back out, as so electrifyingly demonstrated by the stock image on the right. I can't even believe I'm old enough to be able to "throw my back out." I'll be checking the mail for my AARP, and I'll probably start eating dinner at 4:30pm. 

Anyway, my PT (who's GREAT, by the way, and if you're in the New York Area and need someone, I can't recommend Manhattan Physical Therapy and Pain Center strongly enough) suggested I not wear heels. I told him I'm too vain for sneakers, but I'm gonna try to get by in flats for a while. It's a curse because I'm 5'1" and need all of the height I can get, but a blessing because HOW CUTE are these cork flats by Osborn:

$160, Osborn, BonaDrag.com

Again, CUTE OXFORDS made of CORK! For SPRING AND SUMMER! Which means they'll match EVERY FUCKING THING I OWN, included but not limited to neon stuff (of which I own a lot). Also, hi, 20% off Bona Drag through April 15, so ride that. I'll be over here in the corner with the ice pack, hashtag frowny face.

$98, J. Crew

PS -- While a cork clutch AND cork Oxfords are WAY too matchy-wack, just know that J. Crew's cork clutch exists. Cork. It's what's for dinner.

Iosselliani's Rhinestone Bracelet Is Affecting My Soul

$550, Iosselliani, Bonadrag.com

The yearning I feel in my soul for this Iosselliani rhinestone bracelet can only be described as primitive and all-consuming. Is this what wanting a baby feels like? I don't want a baby, though. I only want this.

Blue Boots Are The New Black Boots

The other morning on the train to work, I had a little epiphany. No, not that the train smelled like piss -- oh, believe me though, it certainly did. I realized that this spring, or whenever I can finally stop wearing my winter boots every day like I have for the past financial quarter or whatever, I'm going to be investing in a pair of blue boots and wear them where and when I'd usually wear black boots. It's all about getting the blue right, though. I'm thinking navy, but then I saw these Jeffrey Cambpell "Lita" boots. True blue.

($155, Jeffrey Campbell, Bonadrag.com)

Mara Hoffman: Fashion Inceptor?

($300, Mara Hoffman, Bonadrag.com)

Guys, I'm really afraid Mara Hoffman is sneaking into my mind and incepting my mind, because her tribal-inspired "Pow" dress is the dress of my dreams.

+ Inception LOLz.

GOD, I Love Bona Drag

I mean... their laser cat splash page alone.

And, of course... the Morrissey updates on their blog.

Years ago when I ordered something, they sent me a Bona Drag mix with Morrissey on the cover. I have a Deepwater Horizon's worth of love for Bona Drag. Except instead of oil, I contain only love.

On My Binge List: Erica Weiner Watch O'er You Ring

($80, Erica Weiner, Bonadrag.com)

For reals, I'm daydreaming about my future when I blog about cute and horrible clothes with this brass ring on my right ring finger. If it looks super olde-tymey, that's because it is. It's inspired by a 19-century wax seal found in a Glasgow antique shop, and it reads "May it watch o'er you." It's like a cross between an evil eye charm, a Cracker Jack treasure, and a Ouija board. Hey, speaking of, wanna see a magic trick? Watch me make $80 magically disappear from my bank account! Poof!

Mara Hoffman Is Killing Me Softly

... Case in point:

($290, Mara Hoffman, Bonadrag.com)