WTFH Is Monki And HOW SOON WILL THEY BE OPENING IN OR AT LEAST SHIPPING TO THE STATES?!?

Dudes. What is Monki? Welp, to answer the question you didn't ask (or, if you did, I'll applaud my the combination of my SEO expertise and you for clicking), Monki appears to be the Swedish version of Topshop (maybe with a little Oak/ Opening Ceremony/ Gargyle sentiment thrown in) Monki just opened up a London store, and according to The Independent, Monki operates over 50 stores in eight different countries... EXCEPT FOR AMERICA. Y, THO, people? Also, HOW SOON CAN THEY GET THEIR ASSES DOWN TO LOWER BROADWAY WHERE THEY BELONG? Or even Times Square? **shudder**

I mean, they refer to their customers as "Monki friends," and they sell a GINORMOUS DENIM PONCHO, which I need to own. Remember, girls -- there's no limit to denim. Well... that's not true...

"Oh, I know! So weird! We just both randomly showed up like this!"

€55, Monki

€30, Monk

These floral cut-out wedges? Seriously though, I'm about to set up some kind of shady Romney-esque offshore boomerang account just so I can ship shit over there and back to the US.

 YOU GUYS. THIS IS THE INSIDE OF AN ACTUAL MONKI STORE. HOW AM I NOT THERE RIGHT NOW!?!?!??!

Outfit/ GPOY Post: LNA Cardigan, Forever 21 Ripped Jeans & Other Comfie Pieces For Pizza

Saturday night was one of the last pizza binges of 2011, so I had to bring it in the comfort competition. But I also felt like wearing something cute, and God forbid someone see me going H.A.M. on some carbs in something UNCUTE!

+ Cardigan: LNA Zip Pckt. It's jersey, has two oversized zipper pockets, and if I lost this thing I'd call the cops. That's how attached I am to this layering staple. Get it for $50(!!!!!!)

+ Ripped skinny jeans: Forever 21.

+ Silk tank: Forever 21.
+ Pour La Victorie studded Oxfords: I have these in olive/ beige too. Wear them at least once a week. #known
+ Bracelet: Ippolita Hard Gloss mother of pearl bangle (gift)
+ Lipstick: Shout out to that Cover Girl LipPerfection Siren 415 lipstick.
+ Pizza: Sam's Chops -- BEST pizza in all of New York. No competition. Just ask what once passed for my midriff.

Guys, 1970s Flared Jeans Are SO Coming Back!

AND I'M SCARED!And I know that Tory Burch is going all '70s, and so is Rebecca Taylor, and Etro and  Derek Lam -- especially Derek Lam. But I don't know if I can commit!

So, Topshop's got a handful of flared jeans for fall. Thoughts?

($125, Topshop)

I don't know dude. They're just SO Those '70s jeans. And SO '90s. I don't know if I'm ready to wear 1994 all over again.

($80, Topshop)

I'm more tolerant of these jeans as they're less elephant bell, more biz-cashe trouser.

But I am TOTALLY tolerant of these Rebecca Taylor high-waist zip-pocket flare jeans. Hearts!

Rebecca Taylor Spring 2011/ Yannis Vlamos / GoRunway.com

Derek Lam Spring 2011/Yannis Vlamos / GoRunway.com

I ALMOST Bought These Serfontaine Jeans (And Still Might)

I stopped by the perfectly lovely Kaight boutique in the Lower East Side. It's an eco-friendly boutique, but I'd call it more eco-forward, since it's got really cute stuff that isn't all hemp-y/ Hare Krishna looking, you know? Like eco-friendly stuff -- Melissa troupe + Alexander Herchoivch Oxford wedges and the like -- that doesn't look like it was stitched together from corn husks found on the ground at a farmer's market. (Look, I get HIGH off of recycling and energy efficient light bulbs and reusing stuff. I have ABSOLUTELY nothing against preserving the planet. I just don't wanna dress like it.)

Anyway, the shop is sweet, as are the employees, and I fell in love with a great pair of Serfontaine jeans.

($152, Serfontaine, CoutureCandy.com)

They were. SO. EFFING. COMFORTABLE. It was like sitting in a perfectly worn catcher's mitt made of denim. In a good way. They felt absolutely custom-made for my ass and mine alone. And I LOVED the slightly dusty, semi-'70s medium rinse. And they were soft as a kitten's ear. I rolled them down since I'm 5'2" and certainly can't do the denim capri look without look like a dwarf (side note: I'm NOT into the denim capri look at all anyway). Remarkably, I left without buying them, only because I wasn't in love with the cut of the ankle, which was a little too wide.

Kaight had them on sale for $132. Looks like Kaight doesn't offer Serfontaine online, but if you're into Serfontaine jeans -- and you should be! -- CoutureCandy.com has a ton.