Neon Shoes Are IT

Yo. So, this Saturday I was in the Upper East Side doing GOD knows what, and I waited approximately the orbital period of Hayley's Comet for a 6 train. Despite a major case of GMTFOOH-itis, the wait was not for naught because observed at least six chicks wearing some refreshingly awesome neon shoes, which begat my own quest for summery neon and pop-colored shoes. Pair them with another bright bold for some color-blocking action, or with a neutral. LOVE a neon-neutral combo. So let's DO this:

($227, Diane Von Furstenberg, Zappos.com)

I actually wouldn't be mad at these bring orange Diane Von Furstenberg heels paired with a purple, red or bright pink top and some grey or black skinny jeans. Try it! You might like it. What's the worst that could happen? Are you trying to put your mothah in an early grave? Nu?

($140, Melissa, Karmaloop.com)

I want to say that the white cat eye stripe up the back of these Melissa wedges is the best part about them, but that's like saying the hair is the best part of Andrew Garfield, which is really just selling him short. Perfect with a peach or blush maxi dress, you know? Or a bold turquoise.

($73, Melissa, Karmaloop.com)

More cute rubbery realness from Melissa. The double buckle detail is worlds away from the jellies of my youth.

($51, Marais)

Normally I don't fucks with kitten heels due to the whole thick-stack-on-a-short-stick effect they create, but these Marais heels offset that potential disaster with a slimming ankle strap.

($34.99, ModCloth.com)

I probably couldn't sit let alone walk in these purple phenomenons, but if you can, you should.

($244, Chie Mahara, NeimanMarcus.com)

These cork and yellow leather Chie Mahara heels are beautiful enough on my tiny little computer screen. I can only imagine how lush they look IRL.

($484, Loeffler Randall)

These Loeffler Randall x Suno Erin lace-up wedges aren't really neon, but they are beautiful. I like how from afar the pattern looks like googly eyes. You don't see shoes with googly eyes nearly enough these days.

($278, Ground Zero, Shopfatal.com)

Oh HAVE MERCY. Clear vinyl neon and GREY Oxfords? With BREATHING HOLES? Can you kick it? YES WE CAN!

Um, These Are The Bowie-est Boots I've Ever Seen In My Life

($163, Jeffrey Campbell, Modcloth.com)

I mean...

Just when you didn't realize you needed silver glitter wedge booties, you realize you only didn't realize you needed them because you didn't realize they existed. See what I mean here? And FINALLY they do. And you don't have to get them by renting a time machine and hoping to land in David Bowie's shoe trunk somewhere in the '70s ,between The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars and Diamond Dogs. Or... if you were born after 1990, one of the many tractor-trailers that transports Lady Gaga's footwear on tour. Sigh. Kids today. They'll never know. They'll. Never. Know! Will they?? WILL they?? They won't. They won't know.

+ Where Gaga got it...

Here's The Next Thing I'll Agonize Over Until I Inevitably Break Down And Buy It

($129, Irregular Choice, Modcloth.com)

UPDATE: One of you commented and asked what I'd wear these with. Good question, lady. It's a hard one. I'd probably keep it pretty tame since the shoes be cray-cray. Maybe a denim skirt and white button-down top? Denim shirt and black leggings? I've been dressing a LITTLE more simply lately -- basics, jeans or a skirt, and some kinda wackadoo shoes or accessories. Also, check out how ModCloth's adorable owner (and pug enthusiast!) Susan Gregg Koger styled the look.

I should just go ahead and devote approximately 48 minutes of my Tuesday to allow the practical side of me to try to convince the part of me that lacks self-control to have a two-way conversation about why I shouldn't buy these Irregular Choice heels. Ultimately, practical me will be held hostage by my lack of self-control, who will commandeer my credit card, hit "buy," and set free within me a strange brew of chemicals and emotions, ranging from oxytocin to shame and regret... Which is all just a long-winded, round-about way of admitting that I'll probably buy these. I love a crystal heel, and I LOVE Irregular Choice. They're like Jeffrey Campbell on MDMA.

BREAKING: This Cat Shirt Rules

($44, Nümph, Modcloth.com)

Ha ha! JK! That's not breaking news, OF COURSE. But it worth expediently pointing out that the cat on this Nümph tunic is super bright, obviously, because he wears glasses. I feel like he spends a lot of time reading books printed by the Oxford Press, you know? Those REALLY big tomes with the tissue-thin paper, that's so impossible to highlight. Anyway, I'd believe anything this cat told me. Anything.

Also, check out more of Danish brand Numph's this-side-of-adorable apparel at ModCloth.


PS -- I'm feelin' on their dressy-but-comfy slouchy bow pants!

($114, Nümph, ModCloth.com)

This Betsey Johnson Prom Dress The Symbolic Manifestation Of The Prom Scene In Grease

($498, Betsey Johnson, Modcloth.com)

I love this Betsey Johnson prom dress, and I love that Modcloth (whom I love unconditionally) refers to it as a sugary confection, because that's exactly what it is. It's SO "Those Magic Changes." Speaking of which, Sha-Na-Na's gold two-piece suits and zip-up boots are LIKE TO DIE.

I Actually Didn't Buy These Shoes. For Once.

($99.99, Modcloth.com)

My darling coworker, MTV Twitter Jockey Gabi Gregg, who also runs Young, Fat and Fabulous, had on a great pair of studded boots. I was like, point blank: I'm buying those. Until I realized I own about seven pairs of black boots. At which point nly my spotty, waning sense of financial propriety kept me from buying these really fun studded boots from ModCloth. Ugh. I hate being a grownup sometimes.

By the way, LOTS more stuff to post from the Lucky FABB Conference, great stuff I bought, etc. Silly work keeps getting in the way though! I was on a social media panel, like a fancy person, and I did a bunch of radio press about the Grammys today. So if you live in Arizona or Alaska and heard someone blabbering about bloody Lady Gaga, that was me. And if you're interested in Britney Spears, well we're premiering her video on MTV.com on Thursday. DAMN YOU, BRITNEY! FOR KEEPING ME FROM FASHION BLOGGING!

Shelley's Of London's Pretty-Weird-Ugly Shoes

($99, Shellys Of London, Modcloth.com)

These cut-out marbleized lace-up heels are so completely weird they're almost pretty. They're the Jeff Goldblum of shoes.

Potential ModCloth Binge

Oh ModCloth. You're like Urban Outfitters without the copyright infringements! So many cute offerings, so little dollars in my pants pockets.

Were I to gorge on ModCloth's cute stuff, here's what I'd add to my sadly empty basket:

($149.99, Miss L. Fire, ModCloth.com)

Almost nothing else on this oil-stained earth makes me happier than a pair of '80s heels. And detachable gem clips with bows (bows are SO big right now!) are just icing on the cake. And honestly, icing's always my favorite part. Seriously, when will someone just make an all-icing cake anyway?

($47.99, ModCloth.com)

Seriously, I HATE summer and shorts SO much that I just wear black jeans all summer and pray for a freak snow storm. This cuters black and yellow top is perfect exactly such a scenario.
And it doesn't look hugely tacky or cheap like sooo many tank tops. Am I the only one who's encountered that? What's up with super cheap-looking tanks? Bullshit!

($49.99, Industry, ModCloth.com)

LOVE this tank. Reminds me of the type of shit you used to be able to find on St. Marks before it basically turned into McDonald's.

($44.99, ModCloth.com)

A crafty take -- check out the raised threads in the stripes -- on Breton stripes! Plus, button shoulders? Oh, ModCloth. You're too good to us.

Angel Jackson Bags Are Like TO DIE

You might wanna put on a diaper before you check out these studded leather bags, because you're surely shit yourself. They're by the sister act Katie and Millie Smith who design the marvelous Angel Jackson line of bags and belts. WANT.

($293, Angeljackson.co.uk)

Love the snakeskin, studs, '80s brights, and Chanel-inspired chain strap of the Disco Jack bag.

($246, Angeljackson.co.uk)

Snakeskin AND jaguar = two marauding members of the animal kingdom perfectly represented on one studded bag.

And, finally, a studded bag for A LOT less:

($72.99, Modcloth.com)

I got this from Lulu's, but I think they're sold out there. I've yet to use it, because I'm getting a lot of mileage out of the Eryn Brinie bag below (which wasn't worth the full price but definitely worth the sale price, but it's a whole lotta bag and would look pretty cute with an all-black outfit, since it's pretty noisy all on its own.

($69, Eryn Brinie)