Cats In Sombreros

Turns out there are a LOT of photos of cats in sombreros on the Internet. Please don't ask me how I made this discovery. Did people question how Edison created the lightbulb? No. They were just fucking happy they didn't need candles to read the dark anymore.

Puma's Going MONOCHROME, Man. MONOCHROME

I was just having a regular day today until... I received a mass email from Puma and shit got real. They just released their new Monochrome line, and it's kind of major (although I wished someone called me to ask which colors I'd prefer but... the yellow will do). It's seriously all monochrome everything, and clearly I need to own everything from every colorway.

Monochrome Hat, $30

Monochrome #1 Logo T-Shirt, $30

Monochrome Hoodie, $60

Monochrome Track Jacket, $65

Monochrome Grip Bag, $75

Suede Archive Eco Sneakers, $60

In my opinion Puma has been lacking in the style department of late and I'm happy to say that they're making a step back in the right direction with this collection. I've noticed as a brand they're veering away from strictly fashion and getting back into a marriage of fashion and athletic apparel. "Athletic"... right. That's not in my vocabulary.


You can choose from hunter green, red, black, blue and yellow. There's a small part of me that's itching to get one of everything and wear it all at once. CAN YOU IMAGINE?! It brings back a childhood memory of this eccentric elderly family friend who used to dress in all one color. The most memorable was the day I saw her in hot pink from head to toe with matching hot pink lips and eyebrows. I remember my mother and aunt having to leave the room in a fit of laughter claiming she mistook her lip liner for her eyebrow pencil... but now that I think about it, maybe she was just committed and ahead of her time...

A Tale of Three Hats

There's nothing like outfitting yourself for outdoorsy adventures to make you feel like a stupid fashion twat. I have tried in vain (literally) to find cute stuff that is also functionalfor my upcoming Yosemite hiking adventure. In talking with my hiking-expert friend Leanne, I learned that "a hat is a must." And so: A search for a hat was born!

I began last Friday, randomly, when I had some time to kill on Smith Street. One of my favorite stores is Exit 9, a gifty-novelty store that also carries Tano bags and some other accessories. They have cute mittens in the winter, and paper party cups with noses on them so when you drink, you can look like you have a hairy old-man schnoz. Lots of fun stuff, see? They also have cool hats. I bought one, since it had a brim and would keep the sun off my face.


San Diego Hat Co. "Lacie" linen buckle hat, $35. I brought it home to my husband, Carl, who replied, "That's not a hiking hat. That is a fashion hat." I considered. Perhaps. Could return, but lost receipt. Argh. Well, I like it. My only concern is that it has kind of an urban-dancer vibe about it? Like maybe Janet Jackson circa Rhythm Nation would approve?

The following day I hit the Brooklyn Flea. It was hot out. Like what-am-I-doing-here-on-this-blacktop hot. And so, when I found the Lento hat rack, I was a sitting duck. I was intrigued by this one hat with a really exaggerated brim that the seller said was supposed to be worn to the back, but that cool Brooklynites have been wearing in the front. It was kind of amazing.


Lento "Maxi" hat, $30. Hand-made, hand-dyed, organic, all that good stuff. And reversible! It seemed like this was definitely "fashion," though, so I went with the more reasonable (and still sun-protectively functional) regular version:


Lento "Medium" hat, $25. (It was $20 at the Flea, in case any locals want to pick one up). I got it in purple. Or gray. Reversible rules! However, as I walked to my next appointment at the beer garden, a slight breeze kept threatening to lift the fucker right off my head. Not cool. Not functional. FASHION. Shit.

So today I finally went to return the hiking boots that I bought at EMS and then found cheaper online, and I noticed their hat section. SCORE!


I found a perfectly cute-enough gray hat, the EMS Chelan II with a UPF (that's SPF for clothes, I think) of 30 and wicking capability. Take that, head sweat! It was $16.80. Done and (PHEW) done!

Now let's hope I can find occasion to wear the other two hats, too....

Exciting Fashion Challenge: Hats!

So, in exciting non-recessionary news, my husband just got a freelance job doing graphic design for a polo event on Governor's Island, which means an opportunity to a) look at fancy people dressed up fancy, and b) dress up faux-fancy myself (it's free to the public unless you want to pay for a VIP picnic ticket). The "polo style tips" page emphasizes "hat first; outfit second" and advises a large brim and some sort of flair that "amuses" (yay!). And so, here is a short list of hats I am considering for either buying or inspiration: I may just MacGyver my existing H&M floppy straw hat with some fun gussying-up materials. Any hat I buy has to be extremely cheap, of course, because that's how I roll, i.e. not in hats, unless it's a costuming situation. Which I consider a polo match to be, or, really, any event involving horses. And so, perhaps:


So here's your basic fedora with a cute colored ribbon: French Connection Shamble Hat, $39.99. Of course, this is easily customizable if you DIY it. Colored ribbon plus cheap hat = done.



Sundried hat from Anthropologie, $128. This is one hundred percent DIY-able; just get some raffia and start tying. The only question is where does it fall on the cuteness scale?



You could probably just go to the dollar store and wild out, too, as demonstrated by this Juicy Couture "Pompom Tassels" hat, $88.



Pansy field fedora from Anthropologie, THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-EIGHT DOLLARS. Seriously. Again, dollar-store doable. And cute!




A white hat would also be cute for summer. Here's a really basic white straw fedora from Tilly's, $12.99. Ribbon and done.



Or...handy with a grommet gun? Try to re-create this seriously cute Eugenia Kim grommeted fedora, $297.



Or add some sparkle with a sequined scarf, like Eugenia Kim did with this "Craig" sequined straw fedora, $315. I don't have to say that you could DIY this, right? Cough cough.

If you don't feel like doing any work and just want to spend a few bucks on a hat, here are some nice inexpensive options:



Forever 21 two-tone fedora, $8.80. (I'd probably still switch out the ribbon though...maybe?)


Aeropostale plaid-print fedora, $7. So sweetly preppy! I might just get this just because. It's seven bucks!



Torrid silver straw fedora, $18. Bling it out!



Tarnish floral overlay fedora, $38. Actually classy. I could totally see my friend Michelle T. rocking this.



Eugenia Kim for Target fedora, $16.99.

Now for the ridiculous:


ASOS bunny-ears fascinator, $33.82. This exists.

Finally, I am all for Betsy's tiny hat idea, which she executed wonderfully. I'd even go so far as to suggest pinning this item to your head if you really hate hats:


Blue and white straw hat, $2.50. (OMG.)

I would not, however, recommend bringing your, um, rat to this event, as the seller notes: "Never leave your rat unattended while dressed. While they can slip out of the outfit if needed, harm could still come to them if you are not there to watch them. Please note that it sometimes takes a few tries before some rats will keep their clothing on." Ain't that the truth!

I'll leave you with this fun fact: Carl will be taking direction at times from a star polo player named Nacho who also models for Polo. His assistant is also named Nacho and will also be contacting Carl. This is not going to lead to any hilarity at all!