The Tucker Blouse Is An Injustice

This Tucker Hummingbird Nectar silk top is an injustice. WHY? Because it's perfect and because it's not mine. I should've gone into shoplifting after all.

($335, Tucker)

($276, Tucker, Piperlime.com)

Appropriate songs: Katy Perry, "Hummingbird Heartbeat"


The Smiths, "Shoplifters Of The World

Designer Vs. Discount: Black Lace Top

($827, Markus Lupfer, Luisaviaroma.com)

See, this Markus Lupfer black lace top with an ooh-ahh inducing exposed zipper is an ooh-ahh-inducing $827! BOO!

Meanwhile, this BB Dakota black lace top...

($70, BB Dakota, Piperlime.com)

... JUST $70! YAY! You save $757! BOOM!

Why Aren't I Wearing: These Two-Tone Fergie 'Amplify' Heels

I will full-on admit that I like Fergie. Well, I have a soft spot for her. She fully embraces her trannydom, she's always workin' on her fitness, she can do a cartwheel and sing at the same time, she once peed her pants in public and was like 'whatevs,' and her hair is usually fun.

Therefore, I'm NOT at all ashamed to be having thoughts about Fergie's "Amplify" heels. They're bold and transrageous, just like their namesake.

($59.99, Fergie, Piperlime.com)

($250, Current Elliott, Net-a-porter.com)

I'd wear them with these Current Elliott medium wash skinny jeans (if I owned them).